27 February 2013

Fat Arse Pay Day

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You know how when you get a raise you immediately go out and spend the money, even though it’s not payday for another 3 weeks and you haven’t actually got the money yet?

Yeah, well I’m doing that right now.
But Rhonda, I hear you say, you don’t have a job.

To which I say I do have a job actually, it’s called being a mummy and shhhh so hubby can’t hear you - he still thinks I’m getting maternity leave even though our daughter is almost 3.

But no, you are right, I don’t have a real job. But I’m not spending money - I’m spending calories.

I’ve just got a new bike and I am now planning to cycle everywhere and get heaps fit and healthy and lose loads of weight and have a tushie as tight as a jam jar lid and a belly as flat as Keira Knightley’s boobs.   

And because in the very near future I will be burning up loads of calories, I am allowing myself to eat lots of cake now.

It’s kind of like I have the calories on credit and I will pay them back at the end of the month in one lump sum when I go on that really long and arduous ride fully laden with my daughter and her seat on the back of the bike, together will all our crap, erm I mean safety equipment like helmets and mud guards and lights and high visibility everything in bright fluoro pinks and our backpack full of essentials such as toys and nappies and wipes and changes of clothes and cake.

Only problem is that there has been a very cold spell lately so I haven’t been able to get out as much as I expected.

Actually I’ve only really been able to go out on my bike once.

To go to the nearest shop.

To buy cake ... 


1 comment:

  1. Ha, I totally do this! I'm all, hey I worked out for an hour give me ALL THE BROWNIES. Or something similar. Totally defeats the purpose and then some but does it stop me? Nope.